Dave Phillips

mentorship

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Freedom Prison

We all want Freedom… right? Well how much is too much? We live in a culture obsessed with freedom of every kind. All of the limitations imposed in our past by culture, religion, family and friends are fading away leaving an increasing epidemic of freedom.

We have what feels like unlimited choice of everything from clothes to cars. There are even 31 flavors of Ice Cream to deal with (and many more if you look). Do you struggle over making choices because there are too many? Think about the menus in many restaurants where you’ve got 10 pages or more of choices. Where do you start and what do you pick?

Henry Ford said “Our customers can have their car in any color they want as long as that’s black”. Choices were easier long ago because we didn’t have as many. Now they’re unlimited and how do we manage that.

A young woman looked up to her mentor recently and said, “so are you saying that I don’t have to do everything I want to do?” She had grown up feeling that freedom of choice was a virtue and found it to be a vice.

She was locked up in “Freedom Prison”, paralyzed by too much choice. Her increasingly frantic efforts left her with a declining sense of satisfaction. All the activities and possessions that promised unlimited satisfaction proved to be a hoax.

There is a certain amount of discipline that will actually increase your freedom. For example, restricting calories manages weight. Getting to bed on time gives you energy the following day. Limiting spending helps keep on track with financial goals. I think you get the idea. This list is endless.

Where have you gotten locked in to Freedom Prison and what choices could you make to get out? Here’s the crazy thing! Most of us know the answer to this question and even know how to do it… but we choose too much freedom that ends up as Churchill said… first a mistress, then a master and finally a tyrant!

What simple disciplines could you put in to place today that will unlock the bars of Freedom Prison, so you can move towards the things that are most important in your life?

Here’s the simple principle:

balanced discipline… increases personal freedom

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Our most dangerous weaknesses… come from overused strengths!

There’s a lot of talk about strengths and weaknesses. Things you are good at and things you are bad at.  Each of us have certain competencies or natural abilities. These would be considered our strengths.  Our weaknesses are more commonly known as the things we don’t do well.

That’s not what I’m talking about here. We have more tools now than ever to discover our strengths and gifts and natural abilities and it’s a great idea to use them to either recover, discover or uncover our real strengths. The more disturbing problem comes when we overuse these wonderful strengths, because when we overuse our strengths, they can actually become our weaknesses. For example, I spoke with someone recently who is not very good with numbers.  We will call him Bob.  Balancing his check-book is bound to have mistakes and leave him bored and drained of energy.  This is a weakness that he understands.  It’s clear to Bob that he doesn’t like numbers and will never spend the time needed to get good with them. He knows it, and everyone around him knows it too.  When Bob spends time doing detailed budgets the results are not very good and it requires a lot more effort than other people with a numerical gifting (and yes, these people do exist).

A strength of Bob’s is working with people. This is energizing and joyful for him.  He always has a positive response to his efforts and intentions with people. This would be a strength area.  However, when he overuses this wonderful strength, the real problems begin. Spending too much time with people becomes less and less satisfying for him… and them.  If Bob continues to over engage he can then become disenchanted and even begin to question this area of strength. Now we have a real problem because it starts to rot the very foundation under which he normally loves to fully engage and where he finds great satisfaction.

I often see people questioning their strengths because they have been overused. In a world that seems to find more value in quality rather than quantity this can easily happen. I have coached myself and hundreds of other people who are questioning their strengths to carefully consider this simple concept.   Overuse injuries are common in athletes engaging their athletic strengths and the principle is similar for all of us working in our personal strengths..

I invite you to evaluate how well you are taking care of your self.

If you’re thinking about a career change or even how to engage with your current team, I invite you to evaluate how well you are taking care of your self. If you’re running too fast and living under constant stress, I can almost promise you won’t be able to trust your strengths or your judgment about them.  I would strongly encourage you to find a source of objective feedback. A person without any agenda for you, and some connected expertise could change your whole experience. This could help you get back on track so that your strengths become your strengths and you start feeling that energy, joy and delight once again.